Do you believe in 2nd chances?

So I know I have been remiss in my blogging effort here but I am going to try to be better HAHAHA! laughed hysterically the Mother of 4 with 2 home businesses and a singing career. But.... I am going to be better about telling my story because after the events of the past 4 years i have decided life is too short and unpredictable to let any time go to waste! I have been getting back into my singing the last 3 years and recently applied for an amazing opportunity to sing in ROME ITALY!! YES..... ROME! OK.... ok from the beginning. As I said before I am a mother of 4. What I need to mention that as a singer usually pregnancy is hard enough considering the core support is shot, your breath control is constantly under attack by random hits and kicks... NOT to mention the damage to my poor esophogas due to morning sickness the ENTIRE 9 MONTHS!!! Yes you read that correctly NOT just the usual 3 months but due to hormone imbalance I got all 9 haha. On top of that All 4 pregnancies were high risk. So... starting and stopping my singing got to be a habit. 2 months after my beautiful daughter and child number 4 was born I was told I had a tumor growing in a very scary place. like " you have a tumor growing" inside you isn't scary enough??? Apparently it was not cancerous but decided to wrap itself from my uterus... around my abdominal aortic valve... and into my abdominal wall. You medically minded people may now breath easy knowing I am alive writing this. For the rest of you that means one of the main valves to my heart was getting squished, blood flow was diminished, brain cells were dying, and feeling as well as control of my lower extremities was lessening.... I was dying. Or at least my doc said I would if I didn't get it removed post HASTE! I was told I had 2 weeks to get my affairs in order and report to the hospital for surgery. With my head spinning.... My heart thumping irregularly and for the first time in my life... LOUDLY, I started cleaning my house! HAHAHAHA I know retarded right? But this is me. I get stressed, angry, or confused I clean. The surgery went extremely well due to my Genious robotic surgeon! It did however result in an hysterectomy at at barely 31 years old I was just a bit devastated. I was sent home to recover but NOT carry anything over 15 lbs .. which at this point also included my now 3 month old baby.... yes my LAST baby, walk... more than I could handle (10 steps cry... 10 steps cry...repeat), and absolutely NO housework HAHAHAHA!! But seriously, I went in for a few problems and came out feeling like I had been hit by a freight train and restricted of the only things I knew helped we work out life's problems. The next year was VERY dark for me. I cried constantly because I felt so broken. I didn't know if I would ever be able to get back to normal and FORGET singing. I could barely squeak out a speaking voice most days... maybe sing a hymn or kids song. I wasn't allowed to work out without rehabilitative physical therapy and with that mostly only water therapy! Needless to say I gained weight.. lots of it! I stopped socializing and my husband and I didn't go OUT on dates. I had no idea what to do with myself. Now.. what I should have been focusing on was the fact that I had just been granted a second chance at life right? But I didn't see that yet, all I could see was what I couldn't do anymore. My entire life all I wanted to do was sing. I wanted to be able to sing so beautifully people could feel what I felt. The joy and rapture that consumes my flesh with every note! Music is everything to me! I feel physical pain at the thought of not be able to be a part of music in some way! So the very real possibility of never being able to sing the songs that set my soul aflight was more than I thought I could bare! Of course I was being selfish! I still had a wonderful husband who stayed by me through everything, trying to understand my pain, trying to help... I had 4 beautiful children who cooked and cleaned and took care of me and the the older 3 helped take care of my baby... I had the most amazing friends who loved me and encouraged me every way they could! But I didn't know how to be anything else. I didn't feel like a very good mother, wife or friend, and my entire resume and life revolved around music. I started praying like I had never prayed before.. "please let the passion die so it doesn't hurt so bad!!" I threw myself deeper into my kids home school studies determined to be the BEST teacher and mother ever. I volunteered everywhere I could and found I wasn't terrible at teaching arts and crafts, and I absolutely loved teaching music. I found the 2nd year easier to walk and started walking the neighborhood with my friends again. I still couldn't breath deeply without pain and physical therapy kicked me to the curb! A night out was a BIG ordeal and made me sleep for 2 days straight, but I found I was a human again. I met the most amazing people while in physical therapy who were worse off than me and yet they saw life in such an amazing way! These new found friends taught me how to appreciate and love life again and encouraged me to find my NEW NORMAL. I read every book on healing and mindfulness I could get my hands on and continued to read and reread my music books. I watched operas, went to concerts and really started to change my whole outlook on life. Year 3 after my surgery I started singing again... not well mind you... my breath control was still shot and my voice was still easily worn out, but I was singing my old jazz songs and musical theater. 6 months into my 3rd year my loving husband had a job transfer back up to Idaho. As a family we were thrilled... sad to miss the new friends we had made in Arizona, but happy to be back up north closer to family and friends we had left and in the nice cool weather! Oh and don't get me started on all the BEAUTIFUL trees and fabulous fishing! My husband encouraged me to audition for Opera Idahos resident company... I had been with them years prior and absolutely LOVED the experience! I was terrified! What if I couldn't do it? What if my back gave out our my scars started throbbing or I tired out too easily and I couldn't make it? I started working out harder to build endurance.. especially cardio, and worked for months on 2 songs and only these 2 songs. There were days I wanted to break things knowing how I used to be and was obviously NOT now! But I persisted reminding myself I was a new person now! I had a new lease on life and I had a clean slate! When I auditioned they were very kind and patient and actually complimented me!!! I was ecstatic! Not only did I get in but they enlisted me for the first opera of the season Carmen! It was chorus... but I was singing again!!!! The opportunities kept coming including getting roles as Nella in Gianni Schicchi, and Countess Ceprano in Rigoletto along with many MANY other solo singing gigs! I couldn't believe it! By year 4 all the pain was gone save a few lingering back problems from lack of core strength. I was getting back into shape physically and mentally, and I was able to USE all the knowledge I had gained from over 18 years of training! I met incredible coaches and teachers along the way who have helped me get back to good... and beyond! Now, today holds many new opportunities for me. My wonderfully supportive family.. knowing what music means to me.... encouraged me to fulfill my dreams and apply for training programs that would further my career in Opera. Though I performed on stage my whole life in jazz and musical theater... I had yet to crash through and succeed in the opera world... my first love! I never thought I would make it now being a 35 year old mom Happy with where I found myself but still dreaming about the what ifs? So... I applied. I NOT only got in to Operafestival di Roma but was offered the role of Susanna in Marriage of Figaro! Yeah I'm going to ROME to work with world class teachers and coaches and perform in absolutely Amazing surroundings!! I am excited and nervous but working my head OFF to memorize and prepare so that I can live my DREAM!!! I can only say my prayers now days are all in thanksgiving and unbelief at how amazing my life has turned out. Its still a long road.. but with my family at my side I feel I can accomplish ANYTHING! I am sure you saw the donate now button above and are wondering whats up with that... well Rome is an amazing opportunity but with many bills still to pay we are trying to get together all the funds we will need for me to travel and eat while there. So if you like what you hear on the videos when you look up of me on youtube... Becka Pearce ... and are feeling generous... leave a donation to help me get to Rome. God Bess and thanks for taking the time to read my story.